Hi,
It is Leke Alder time on KonnectAfrica.Net and It’s time for his Letter to Jil for this week.
Today, Jilette (Jil’s sister) has got Boys on her mind. Leke Alder uses this opportunity to show her the big picture of being a “Baby Mama” and what it entails. You should read this. You will either learn something or remember something. Read on….
1. My dear Jil, I met your younger sister Jilette at a seminar at which I spoke last weekend. Can you deliver this letter to her. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
2. "My dear Jilette, I should be stating the obvious by saying the only reason you're in university is to get a good education. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
3. Boys are totally secondary. Your education is primary. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
4. You need to get this clear lest you end up with a mismatched university calendaring- something like "Year 5 Part 2!" #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
5. Your grade point CANNOT be dropping on account of ANY boy, or on account of any emotional entanglement. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
6. Means you lost focus. And I'm telling you what I'll tell my daughter. Anything otherwise is wickedness. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
7. If you attain EVERY OTHER THING on campus but fail to secure a sound education what does it profit you? #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
8. Seek ye first a good certificate. At this stage in your life boys are mere additives. And that's the truth. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
9. One thing you'll have to grapple with is your sexuality- your pistillate and ovarian dimensions. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
10. This baby mama stuff… Seems to be the latest trend. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
11. Trust me when I say becoming a baby mama ain't as glam as it sounds. (Who dreams up all this stuff anyway?!) #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
12. It will alter your life trajectory in ways it's not given to young men and women to contemplate or imagine. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
13. Forget all that hip hop glamorisation of baby mamahood! Nobody wears Gucci to change diapers! All that is made for TV drama! #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
14. Babies are not shoes. You can't throw them out when you're in need of new stuff. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
15. You can't be done with them. They stay with you till you die! Your parents are still stuck with you remember! #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
16. And it's been nineteen years or more! From the look of things their redemption is not nigh any time soon. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
17. I know people say "it was an accident!" but pregnancies don't come by accident. Even @MTV agrees! #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
18. The truth is you're surrounded by young tigers- prowling young men with raging hormones. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
19. At that age young men think a lot about sex. (You need to understand boys. They're going to be milling around you for years). #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
20. That hormonal surge will not dwindle for another five decades or so. You need to know how to handle it. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
21. All that "Baybay, baby!" is not X-Factor audition rendition. Neither is it choir practice. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
22. It's the equivalence of a male toad croaking for sex- lust crooning for opportunistic gratification! #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
23. The problem is that boys don't think of fatherhood. All they think about is coition. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
24. It's why many take off like Usain Bolt in a false start when those famous words – "I'm pregnant!" – are uttered. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
25. Some demand logical proof of paternity. That is either a proof of his character, or a measure of what he thinks of you. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
26. A pregnancy announcement makes a young man sober. It's then he realises he's not ready for fatherhood. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
27. The issue of readiness for fatherhood is a big challenge for men. Even married men! #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
28. I know one young man who took to the median of a highway on realisation he was now a father. He just kept walking! #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
29. Don't become a baby mama. A baby dating a baby can't be expecting a baby! #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
30. And the girl is always the one left holding the pail of warm faeces. She's the one with the bald bulging stomach. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
31. Our society is so hypocritical the shame falls on the girl and her family, never the boy or his family. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
32. Indeed some mothers will throw down the gauntlet, set up barricades, forswearing the "innocence" of their son. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
33. It's the picture of an African woman removing her head scarf and converting it into a girdle in readiness for fight. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
34. The girl is labelled a slut who set out to "hook" the son, as if the boy didn't have sex! #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
35. And those naked pictures of pregnant stars pointlessly cusping their bellies and breasts on magazine covers? #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
36. It's just someone trying to put up a brave face and maintaining she's still super sexy despite pregnancy. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
37. Some women are lucky with their figure during pregnancy. Nonetheless your body will undergo changes. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
38. You'll become fatter, your legs will swell, you may find yourself farting, and you have to sleep on your side… #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
39. Then you have those stretch marks. You're growing bigger remember. Forget parties! Your sexy clothes won't fit. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
40. And God help you if the chap has a big head or likes football! He'll butt and kick no end, dynamically disfiguring your belly. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
41. You'll grow darker. (It's because your body is generating heat. You're an incubator afterall). #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
42. Your makeup will run from the heat and sweat. And there's usually vomiting in the first trimester. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
43. Of course there's tiredness. You're lugging weight! Up to 3kg at some point. You can't put it down! #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
44. The load you're carrying grows heavier and heavier with each passing month. It's a live load. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
45. (I hope you appreciate your mum now, even though you don't see eye to eye on issues. And thank God for Dad!) #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
46. Your schooling will be delayed. If you're going to become a lawyer your classmates will become your senior. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
47. Your friends will talk about you, behind your back of course…cruel jokes! There'll be whisperings. And girls gossip! #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
48. Years after you've left school people will still be talking about you… You'll become a parable. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
49. Of course there's labour pain! You can't imagine it. Even with epidural. Ask your mum! Babies just don't plunk out. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
50. You have to breast-feed the baby. Stuff will ooze out of your breasts, and it's not Peak milk. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
51. And you have to stay awake at odd hours to feed the chap. Babies don't have working hours. Pray you don't have twins! #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
52. And then the crying! If he poopoos he cries. If he's hungry he cries. If he wants to sleep he cries. Wee wee, cry!! #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
53. You have to clean poopoo and wipe bum bum. He'll pee all over you without warning. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
54. The baby will keep cramping your style for years to come. You can't take him to a party. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
55. And the father of your baby? All he can do is come around, smile…hold your hands. In baseball hat, flicked backward. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
56. He'll still be going to parties. May even go after another girl, a friend of yours. He'll still be talking jive…bãby-babying.#Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
57. You'll be frustrated with him, feel used. He can't give you emotional support. Doesn't get it! You'll fight often. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
58. He'll complete his own education, in good time too. He'll go on to get a good job. You'll have to go back to school. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
59. And there's no guarantee he'll marry you. His mother… #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
60. And if he fails to marry you, you compound your chances later in life. Guys can be funny. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
61. And anyway marrying under such circumstances is often a recipe for disaster. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
62. It's a moral obligation marriage, coerced. And like the pregnancy, accidental. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
63. Your baby dada will have his life while you baby mama will have nada teaching dada, mama, tata. Is this what you want? #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
64. My advice to you? Make friends but…face your studies! Get good grades. Be focused. Be wise. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
65. As you grow older, you will begin to hear a wonderfully quaint expression: Boys will be boys! It's a deep saying. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
66. I remain yours faithfully, the coolest uncle on Planet Earth, LA. talk2me@lekealder.com #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
This struck me – No.29. Don’t become a baby mama. A baby dating a baby can’t be expecting a baby! This calls for some deep thinking.
What did you learn?
Cheers.
Love this. Thank you Leke Alder for saying it as it is.
[…] Hope our ladies in the house earn a lot from yesterday’s Letter to Jil from Uncle Leke Alder which was titled “Baby Mama. […]