Hello Friends,
Hope our ladies in the house earn a lot from yesterday’s Letter to Jil from Uncle Leke Alder which was titled “Baby Mama.
Today is for the Guys. Many young folks desire to be cool. Jackson inclusive. He longs to be the Cool Guy in the hood. And these questions keep running through his mind – what is cool? what is not so cool? Uncle Leke Alder steps in and explains to him what it really means to be a Cool Dude. Some paradigm shift ahead, Friends. Read on…
1. My dear Jackson, I asked your brother Jack to deliver this letter cos I'll be away all week. We'll talk when I'm back. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
2. You raised certain issues in your letter. I think it all boils down to self esteem- what you think of yourself. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
3. Give it a few years and you'll realise those "cool" guys you spoke about are operating on a false definition. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
4. Being cool is not the ability to sleep with countless girls. That's lack of discipline and you'll expose yourself to all sorts.#Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
5. You may end up a sex addict. Sex addiction is a progressive intimacy disorder. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
6. Being cool is not the ability to consume gallons of alcohol. That's dangerous. You'll damage your liver and heart. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
7. Being cool is not the buying of clothes you can't afford, the doing of drugs or skipping of lectures. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
8. Neither is it the terrorising or raping of girls, or speaking in phony accent after just a spell of summer in London. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
9. Being cool is not godlessness either. In fact dissing God has to be one of the most uncool things to do. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
10. It's good to study history- ancient and contemporary history. We use history as reference material. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
11. I did some studies and four guys from ancient Babylon struck me as cool. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
12. They are the quadrumvirate Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah. They were smart and extremely confident. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
13. But the basis of their confidence was reverential fear of God not booze or babes, or Babylonian accent. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
14. Get your definition right Jackson. False definitions create aberrant and misleading philosophies. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
15. Now, nobody's going to give you self-confidence. You have to acquire it, by yourself. And it's just a paradigm frame. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
16. Self-confidence is based on how YOU CHOOSE to see yourself, how much you value what you have. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
17. Some believe in what they have, some don't. Those who don't keep measuring themselves by other people's standards. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
18. Self confidence does not use side mirrors. It uses the windscreen. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
19. You should value what you have Jackson. God always gives good gifts. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
20. You have to have faith in yourself, in your own abilities. Every man has a competitive (not comparative) advantage. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
21. You'll be surprised at what faith in your own abilities will produce. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
22. One of the killers of self-confidence is shame- being ashamed of one's background. But it's what it is. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
23. It's not the background that matters Jackson, it's the front ground. What is your vision? #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
24. You can't be ashamed of your parents. Yes, they're not rich but they've given you their best riches. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
25. If your parents are godly, honest and hardworking, why should you be ashamed?! Ain't that false values? #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
26. Honour your parents. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
27. If a girl thinks you're uncool cos you have poor parents and you're not ashamed of them then remain uncool. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
28. So you don't have a car on campus. So what?! The race is not to the swift. Develop achievement values. It's a matter of time #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
29. It's not what you have now that matters, it's what's in you. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
30. See those values you can't properly appreciate now- discipline, hardwork, dilligence, honesty, respect for elders… #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
31. They're going to prove invaluable in life. They are propellants of attainment. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
32. See those funny values guys perversely define as metrics of "cool"- vain boastings, fakeness, dishonesty… #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
33. …lack of respect for women, thuggery, insolence, disrespect of the elderly, jangling, spiritual profanity… #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
34. …self centeredness, wilfulness, disobedience, lack of discipline, financial diarrhea, selfishness, lack of depth, uncare… #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
35. They lead to self ruin. The results are all around you Jackson. Be careful about your definition of success. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
36. We've been talking about self esteem, having faith in oneself, as well as faith in one's giftings and abilities. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
37. We tend to imagine giftings as only singing talent, artistic ability, or sporting prowess, especially football. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
38. But there are so many other gifts and talents. BBC Food has shown that cooking is a major talent! #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
39. Wole Soyinka has shown that writing is a major talent. As did the late Chinua Achebe and the late Kofi Awoonor. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
40. The Google guys have shown that coding, systematic thinking and bigness of imagination takes talent. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
41. What about Pierre Omidyar, founder of Ebay? #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
42. Well, he's shown that it takes talent to create a global auction site from trying to help your girlfriend sell Pez dispensers.#Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
43. Barrack Obama has shown how far community organising can take you. That takes talent! #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
44. Mahatma Ghandi showed what dedication to a cause can accomplish. He liberated a nation, overthrew a kingdom. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
45. Warren Buffett has shown that thrift and the spotting of corporate value can create billions. It's talent! #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
46. Mother Theresa has shown what selflessness can accomplish. I could go on and on! #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
47. The point I'm trying to make is that we tend to have a narrow definition of talents and giftings. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
48. Because of this we can't appreciate ourselves or what we have. And so we can't be confident. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
49. Do you know that the ability to go to lectures consistently is a major gift in life? #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
50. It's a demonstration of discipline, focus, commonsense, self assurance, goal orientation, determination… #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
51. perseverance, stick-to-it-tiveness, thirst for knowledge, humility and ability to prioritize. Bet you never saw it that way. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
52. Life teaches us big lessons subtly. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
53. When you believe in the gift God endowed you with, and you're diligent, the world will bow at your feet some day. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
54. Isn't that the major lesson from the story of Joseph? Isn't that the story of the people we cited above? #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
55. Value whatever ability God has given you. That produces confidence. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
56. And stop measuring yourself by the standards of false values or by comparison to others. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
57. You don't need the validation of others to be worthy. You're already valuable. Stay true to yourself. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
58. Accept your background. It's your testimonial frame of reference. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
59. Always reverence God. Nothing can ever be cooler than that. True coolness is godliness. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
60. I'll write you soon again. You can mail me at talk2me@lekealder.com. I remain your big cool uncle, LA. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 12, 2013
I just love and totally agree with what He said in Tweet No. 57 – “You don’t need the validation of others to be worthy. You’re already valuable. Stay true to yourself”. This is so so true and so so cool *wink*wink*
Never sell yourself short. You have a great future ahead of you.
ARISE
[…] p.s. Did you miss “How to be a Cool Dude – Part 1?” Click here […]