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Savvy’s Opinions: BATTLE ROYALE: (Dis)Honourable Legislatouts

Believe it or not guys, the buzz word right now is ‘CHIDI LLOYD’ and perhaps the hottest fashion number for boys in the coming weeks might just be ‘All white caftan and a red cap’ and I’ll tell you why later.

Just when the dust from the ‘My Oga at the Top’ comic show had started to settle, we were ‘hit’ (literally) with yet another show that despite being both embarrassing and disturbing, looks like one of those dramas that will paint a grin on our faces for some time to come. However I do not intend to highlight the comical part of this incident as that would smack of insensitivity on my part, what with the fact that this debacle including its protagonists and antagonists is a collective national embarrassment, a regrettably shameful act exhibited only by barbarians of a very primitive era.

On that breezy morning of 10th July, 2013, Port Harcourt had no inkling what was to befall it; everyone went about their usual businesses, yours truly was in faraway Calabar but elsewhere in Port Harcourt (some have speculated at Chief Nyesom Wike’s mansion at Old GRA, but I don’t know how true), 5 guys were busy plotting how to disrupt that day’s session at the Rivers State House of Assembly on Moscow Road. Their mission was to depose the Speaker (Otelemaba Amachree), impose their own speaker (Evans Bipi) and deal with anyone who dared resist them.


All these they managed to achieve albeit with the help of a gaggle of miscreants and cultists which they had outsourced this dastardly task to. These 5 guys mind you are serving legislators in the Rivers State House of Assembly; they are the hapless members of that assembly who happen to be leftists in the infamous Jonathan-Amaechi feud. For a while now, they have been crying blue murder over what they claim to be the unjust persecution that they continue to suffer in the hands of the other 27 house members simply because they choose to support the President against Gov. Amaechi; hence their mission to wrest control of the leadership of the house on a day that has turned out to be one they may not be in a hurry to remember. So desperate were they to take over control of the house that they purportedly smuggled in a fake mace to execute their plot; the big picture being to take control of the House of Assembly and then speedily impeach the State Governor.

So having successfully chased the other 27 out of the chambers they must have thought to stay back and relish their successful takeover of the chambers but that victory was short-lived as tragedy would soon strike in the person of a certain Hon. Chidi Lloyd, decked in a ‘white traditional wear with a red cap.’ Lloyd burst in while the 5 guys were in the chambers and in a maniacal display of violence, ordered the guys to leave the chambers. When it appeared that they were hesitant to obey, he reached for the Mace, (the symbol of any parliament’s authority) and chased them around like a mad dog. While others scampered swiftly, Hon. Michael Chinda, Lloyd’s kinsman from the same Ikwerre tribe was obviously too heavy to run, no thanks to his endowed belly (I meeaan! all of them have pot bellies, including Lloyd himself but Chinda’s is simply exceptional). Before you could say ”MACE”, Lloyd had caught up with the terrified Chinda who was by this time gasping for oxygen and without even thinking twice swung the mace towards the direction of Chinda’s head, hitting the target hard and accurately too. This then paved the way for some more pummelling using this same mace. Lloyd is even joined in this free for all feast of fists by other pro-Amaechi legislators and even by a police officer who all rain punches and kung fu kicks on the helpless Chinda. It is even alleged by the 5 anti-Amaechi legislators that all these happened under the supervision of Governor Amaechi and that his refusal to intervene was a clear indication that he supported the maiming of Chinda.

battle 4

Meanwhile, in a bid to launch a reprisal attack, the phony speaker, Evans Bipi and his gangsters were outside the complex trying to force their way back in but were resisted by security operatives. It was also extremely horrible and sickening to watch Evans and the miscreants chanting several slogans that are popularly used by a very notorious cult group in Nigeria.

The next scene in this Moscow Road Drama is in the hospital where Lloyd surprisingly checks in, claiming to have been brutalized almost to the point of coma by the anti-Amaechi legislators, with not even a scratch on his body to back up his deceitful allegations. Just how Mr. Lloyd rose to the rank of House leader is still baffling to me.

Chidi Lloyd

You see, Lloyd is not a stranger to me as we have known each other for almost a decade. My first impression of the man was that he was an unrepentant tout, and in my first meeting with him he left me with no doubt as to his rascally texture as he gave himself away with his combatant mannerism and his natural flow of gutter language. Chidi Lloyd seems to enjoy aggression and brash verbiage.  We have both had several altercations in the past (and he was already in the House of Assembly at this time). In retrospect however, I realise how fortunate I was not to have been a recipient of some of the kung fu jabs and kicks that Chinda received.  Well, Lloyd had on one occasion threatened to ‘beat me up.’ I only managed to escape his wrath by the skin of my teeth. About a decade after, Lloyd has now shown the entire world the kind of stuff he is made of. I always knew it was only a matter of time before his beans would be spilled in public. Today he has brutalized a man who has sustained numerous injuries and needs to be flown abroad for treatment.

This Moscow Road Drama reveals a lot of realities to us and they are as follows:

 1.)    That President Jonathan and Governor Amaechi MUST bury the hatchet NOW and stop this disgraceful pride contest.

2.)    That President Jonathan is contradicting his celebrated agenda of restoring peace and security across country.

3.)    That the Rivers State House of Assembly is a den of uncultivated beasts that are in urgent need of psychiatric intervention.

4.)     That the Rivers State Commissioner of Police, Mr. Mbu must be removed immediately, in the interest of the safety of lives and properties in Rivers State.

5.)    That Chidi Lloyd must be arrested, tried in court and eventually jailed for his attempt to murder a fellow human being.

6.)    That Evans Bipi is an avowed member of a secret cult that thrives on violence and as such should be jailed for his membership in a violent (if not TERRORIST) group.

7.)    That from recent events, 2015 might be ‘bloody’ if our politicians don’t have a change of heart and imbibe the virtue of sportsmanship.

John Offiong [SAVVY]
John Offiong [SAVVY]
John Offiong is a Business Development expert, entrepreneur and a social crusader. He is also a speaker and a writer. His writing styles are Satire and fiction. His interests are in Photography, History and he indulges in certain fantasies like becoming a rugby player someday and a DJ but his slender body frame makes the former all but building castles in the air even though the latter is still very much in view. He is a parishioner at House on the Rock - the Heritage House Port Harcourt and serves in the Teens' Ministry of the Church

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