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Ruth Zubairu’s Blog: Achieving Success – Is Your Mind Your Friend or Enemy?

Whether you think you can, or you can’t, you are usually right. Henry Ford

It is somewhat scary to digest this truth. But that is what it is.

You cannot go beyond what your mind allows.

Studies have shown that 95 – 99% of our life comes from the programming in our subconscious mind. Therefore we cannot neglect or overlook the power of the mind in determining how far we can go in life.

This affects family, business, career and every aspect of life.

What we allow our subconscious mind to accept as a reality will become that reality, sooner or later.

As young women, we are constantly experiencing various emotions and our interpretation of what people say and do to us, forms a perception.

About Women

Just for laughs. The pic joke had me chuckling. But is a woman’s mind that busy?

Nkem had just moved to Yobe for her NYSC and her excitement over living far from everything familiar was mixed with curiosity because it was going to be a different culture and religious beliefs.

People had told her different stories of how unfriendly the Hausa people were, and how she needed to constantly watch her back.

As she lived among them, she carried that information with her and whenever she had to relate with them, she did so with utmost suspicion and contempt.

One day, she blurted out, “all of you are just wicked, I was warned about you and can’t wait to leave this backward town”.

She became known to the locals as the Corper with the loud mouth and they showed their dislike for her in return. She heard that Chinwe, her classmate in school was in the nearby town. She was so excited to meet someone from her former life. Hahaha.

When she paid her her a visit, she was surprised to see the way the locals flocked around her.

The children all called out, “madam Corper, madam Corper”.

The older men sitting under trees responded cordially as she greeted them in her amateur Hausa language.

In front of her room, a young boy waited with 10 litres of fuel.

“Madam, see fuel,” he blurted out in his weak English. Thank you, she replied.

Nkem was stunned. “How come they treat you like their own?” She questioned.

“How do you mean?” Chinwe asked.

“Hmmmm, those in my neighbourhood are so mean. In fact, I don’t dare leave my house once it’s 7 pm. You never can trust these people”.

“Oh, I see. That’s why they treat you like that.” Chinwe stated.

“You communicate your distrust and suspicion to them in your words and actions. You make no effort to get to know them for yourself. You can’t draw your conclusions based on another person’s experience.”

Women are emotional beings compared to their logical male counterparts but the ability to manage emotions and separate it from the mind is a skill that is worth learning.

Like Nkem, most times we react to situations based on pre-conceived ideas about who a person is, what the person can do, and how he/she will relate to us.

This eventually plays out and so if I walk into a place and tell myself, people here will not like me for so so reason, then I’ve created that reality.

It will happens about 90% of cases.

And so you have your mind working against you. An enemy.

You make efforts to be early to work, do things right but because you have established in your mind that nothing you do will please your boss, it happens for you in that way.

On the flip side, let’s assume the worst.

Your boss is the devil people say she is. People say female bosses are the worst. And she is a perfect example of the boss from hell.

If you tell yourself, I’m doing everything right today and she will be impressed by my work, I carry out my duties with excellence, I deliver my tasks without error, etc

That mind reset helps you think of alternatives that you wouldn’t have remembered if all you had in your mind was that, this person is too difficult, nobody can please her, bla bla.

And then it happens. People suddenly wonder why you are appreciated for your work and tag you, “the boss’ favourite”.

This applies to your husband, mother-in-law, landlord/landlady, etc

New research on Neuroplasticity – the brain’s ability to be plastic, or to change itself – now confirms that we can re-wire the brain through visualization and practice to form new habits and improve performance radically.

When you train your mind to see the positives in people and situations, you acquire positive energy to act right and achieve your goals.

Your mind becomes your friend because it helps you create the reality you actually want.

How much would you achieve if there were no limits?

Beautiful Mind

Ruth Zubairu
Ruth Zubairu
Ruth Zubairu is a work at home mum of two energetic under 3 year olds. She is the founder of, a personal development community for women committed to building strong, confident and empowered women. Get her checklist for a healthy self esteem and be on your way to becoming a more Confident You.

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  1. Thanks for sharing. I believe the mind plays a vital role in the attainment of success. But, it must be cultivated to achieve such. At birth, the mind is uncultured. Just like land that is not cultivated. A farmer spends time weeding such land, getting rid of weeds and anything that will affect his yield, even before he plants seeds.

    And even when the seeds are planted, he takes time to tend to the plants and gets rid of weeds around them. He waters them and ensures they get enough sunshine. Why? He knows those things will determine his yield at the end of the day.

    It’s the same thing with the human mind. We have to weed out thoughts that don’t serve us. Thoughts that affect our ability to achieve our goals. On this success walk, I’ve discovered we need mindset shifts every now and then. This requires deep introspection which we most times avoid. We always claim to be busy. But, are we really busy?

    No wonder the Bible talks about renewing the mind in Romans 12 vs 2

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