Dear Friend,
It is another great opportunity to share relationship truths and timeless wisdom from the Mentor and Friend, Leke Alder.
The title of today’s Letter to Jack is “The Destructive Power of Negativism in a Relationship.
Are snide remarks, harsh words, malicious words, negative statements, constant criticism common place in your relationship? Read the tweets below and behold a new perspective today.
1. Dear Jack, today I'll like to share with you about the destructive power of negativism in a relationship. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
2. The negative is so powerful it takes a toll on the human spirit. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
3. It fatigues the soul and prevents matrimonial cohesion. It is highly critical of others. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
4. Negativism is so depressive, writing about it is actually troubling. It goes to a secret disturbing place in the mind. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
5. A negative person complains always. He never sees good in anything, even letters of the alphabet. He's jaundiced. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
6. Many times such a person is coming from a place of disappointment and anger; an unresolved past. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
7. If a man is constantly critical of his woman – her efforts, her looks, her person – he's going to kill something in her. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
8. The negative is devastating on men as well. It kills personal peace and destroys manhood. It's why nagging is so terrible! #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
9. If a man puts in his best yet gets constant criticism, such criticism being habitual, it depresses the human spirit. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
10. Negativism envenomates a relationship. It's venom of the soul. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
11. It short-circuits communication and changes the language of communication into a morse code of terseness. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
12. One negative person in a group will modify the vocabulary of cooperation in that group. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
13. Just think of a moody, negative or difficult individual – consider the effect on your group dynamics. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
14. It's confusing, disorienting, disconcerting and energy wasteful. He/she diverts the use of energy and sucks out strength. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
15. So powerful is the negative that it requires the combined energy of so many positives to overcome it. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
16. It's the equivalence of so many bodies piling to suppress a demoniac or cacodemonic. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
17. People thrive on negativism because it gives abhorrent power. They draw power from it. It's a generator. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
18. But it also destroys. It goes to the very root of a relationship, shrivels it, removing the fluid of kindness. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
19. It fills a home with torment because fear has torment, and negativism breeds fear. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
20. If you grasp the potency of negativism you'll realise it's like poison – doesn't require a large dose. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
21. If the negative can be poisonous when shared among many, imagine the level of toxicity where just 2 people are involved. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
22. The desire to hurt someone in a relationship – to use words that wound and lacerate – words as knife: #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
23. …slashing, thrusting, plunging, twisting, with dark intent…These don't augur well for a wholesome relationship! #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
24. Maliciously aiming words with intent to do grievous soulish harm…This is not healthy. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
25. Holding a relationship hostage to moodiness, everyone side-stepping gingerly, afraid of offending…Not good either. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
26. And when couples get used to using words as javelin they soon seek to out-spear each other with each successive fight. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
27. Such an exercise can escalate into profanation of the sacred. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
28. Fathers and mothers must be honoured the Holy Bible says. It's the first commandment with promise. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
29. But they're soon dragged into the arena of a feuding couple's altercation. They're the next frontier. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
30. They're disrobed of honour as the couple seek to inflict greater pain on each other by proxy. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
31. A relationship is meant to be supportive not destructive. There's power in the positivism of harmony. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
32. The integral calculus of the power of two is aptly expressed in this saying: #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
33. One shall chase a thousand, two will chase ten thousand. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
34. The power of amplification of the oneness of two is brobdingnagian – humongous! #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
35. That cohesion is impossible in a negatively charged environment full of negative atmosphere. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
36. A relationship must be filled with positive energy if the parties want to harvest amped ratios of happiness. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
37. Now, it is not as if partners can't correct each other. It's just that the SPIRIT of correction matters. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
38. The tone of correction matters too. The choice of words matter, the motivation matters. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
39. "Can't you see that this is senseless?! Ehn?" can better be expressed as: #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
40. "Sweetheart, I think you should look at it from another angle." #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
41. "I've been telling you I need the stuff!" is better expressed as "Honey, don't forget about that stuff we spoke about!" #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
42. And "Can't you help me?! Is that what your mates do?" can be captured and better expressed with a coy look and "Darling!" #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
43. It all depends on what you want in your relationship – love and happiness, or destructive negativism. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
44. If you habituate yourself with the use of terrible words in a relationship, you're setting a tone for your marriage. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
45. Insults become cudgels. Irony becomes pincers. Cynicism becomes chainsaw. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
46. Retaliatory use of words pushes the envelope of civilised discourteousness with each successive altercation. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
47. And it soon spills out as both parties seek to recruit supporters to help augment their cause and viewpoints. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
48. Secrets become beer parlor fodder. There you have another level of escalation. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
49. The sad thing is that the parties are transforming into vindictive individuals without knowing it. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
50. Make a resolution not to seek to destroy people with your words, to use words to build. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
51. Negativism is a dangerous practice. It stops the flow of blessings. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
52. I heard of a couple who never have anything good to say about others, including those benevolent to them. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
53. They constitute an industrial strength reputation shredding unit – totally powered by envy and bile. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
54. And they wonder why the flow of kindness stopped! They wonder why doors are shut, why no one picks their calls! #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
55. Saying negative things in caucus about people is an acculturation of organic evil in petri dishes of slander. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
56. Google got it right: Don't be evil! #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
57. Surely a canibalistic consumption of entrails must necessarily entail the raw consumption of unsavories and unsanitaries. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
58. What an appetite! #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
59. If you and Jil can resolve not to get into negativism in your relationship… #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
60. If you can resolve never to slander others… #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
61. If you can commit to positive reinforcement of each other… #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
62. Why, you have a wonderful marriage ahead of you! Your mentor, LA #Letr2Jack ©Leke Alder
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
44 days to the launch of the Jack&Jil Live website. Pre-register at http://t.co/MnWe6kGJOp
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) August 17, 2013
Hope you have learnt something. Don’t hesitate to share with your Loved One.
Do have a lovely weekend.
