Hi,
Thanks for stopping by to read today’s Letter to Jack from Leke Alder.
Are you shy? Are you so shy that you don’t know how to start a conversation and communicate effectively with the opposite sex? Are you seeking for ways to overcome this situation?
Jack is going through this same situation and Leke Alder addresses this issue from his wealth of knowledge. Read on…
1. Dear Jack, lets talk about this self esteem thing. It's affecting your ability to get dates so let's deal with it. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
2. Self confidence is important but there's a false version of it. You see that in the club sometimes. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
3. A guy lacking in funds (and something else) declares free drinks for all, just to impress. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
4. Then he gets chased around town to settle his bill. He bought champagne on credit! How do you declare surplus on credit?! #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
5. It's false esteem, and it's indeed foolishness to blow an entire month's salary on alcohol. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
6. The guys will just down your salary, get disoriented on your salary and piss out your salary! (Pardonez mon Français). #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
7. Such "declaration" is obviously no proof of liquidity. If at all, the salary becomes Liquified Salary Piss (LSP). #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
8. Lack of self esteem is sometimes the result of not coming to terms with our past, our background – being ashamed of it. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
9. If you want to move in Rich Dad Rich Kid society and your parents are poor, to fit in you will have to edit your parentage. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
10. An edited history is a creative lie. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
11. If you don't learn to come to terms with your history you're going to have self esteem issues. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
12. You can't change your past. You can only design your future. Your present is your studio. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
13. Trying to impress others through senseless expenditure is no proof of importance. It's a sign of foolishness. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
14. A senior friend once told me, if you earned it you won't spend it anyhow. You won't fritter it away. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
15. "Wanting to belong" is the colloquial expression of low self esteem. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
16. It's important you come to terms with the reality of your past. Your past is your leverage and motivation. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
17. It's also important for you to learn to be yourself. Nothing boosts self esteem like being yourself, being real. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
18. Real women are looking for real men not phonies. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
19. Being real is economically cheaper for you. And it's sustainable. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
20. Why pretend to be what you're not. That's strenuous! It's going to take a whole lot to keep that going. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
21. It's a high maintenance system that requires editorial discipline and you're going to slip at some point. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
22. At some point the girl you're dating with lies will discover the truth. Everything won't add up. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
23. Now its up to her what she does with knowledge of the truth. She may choose to flow with the lie for example. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
24. What that means is your joint life now has a director and producer. That's a real life drama series. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
25. Always better to start real. Better she knows you for who you are – your values, your vision and character. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
26. Now let's talk about shyness. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
27. Shyness is a mild form of fear. It's sensitivity to the possible reaction of people, what they might think. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
28. Shyness is pre-empting yourself before the fact. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
29. Acute shyness will prevent you from going on dates. It's a signal of lack of confidence. It prevents dates. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
30. Unless the girl is the mature, understanding type who wants you, recognises your worth. (Or has an objective). #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
31. She'll make certain moves to encourage you, to put you at ease – because she chooses to understand. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
32. I must say however that it's not a situation many women want. Shyness is indeed a turn off for many women. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
33. You have to overcome shyness. You've got to be bold. And the only way to be bold is to act. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
34. Boldly ask for a date. No one ever died from asking. The worst is a javelin. You only die once. But what if she says yes! #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
35. Even inept nerds on Big Bang Theory get dates. And that includes Sheldon Cooper. He doesn't even understand sarcasm. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
36. On a date a good conversation starter is a honest expression of a good compliment and "Tell me about yourself!" #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
37. Relax on dates. It's not an exam. Don't be self conscious. Forget about yourself. Die another day. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
38. What if the date doesn't pan out? If it's any quantum of solace tomorrow never dies. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
39. Don't beat the living daylights out of yourself. Never say never again. Stop worrying about Dr. No. You may get a skyfall. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
40. Build your self esteem. Talk to yourself in the mirror. Build on your positives. Acknowledge the good things about you. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
41. Knowledge builds esteem. Study. Competence builds esteem. Be good at what you do. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
42. Cultural exposure builds esteem. Expose yourself to cultural knowledge. Study the arts. Become culturally literate. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
43. A good sense of humour also builds esteem. And I don't mean you should try to crack attempted jokes. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
44. I mean being able to make fun of yourself, accrediting your limitations. Self deprecation is a sign of confidence. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
45. Dressing also affects your level of confidence. Have you seen well dressed kids? #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
46. Make the best of what you have or simply choose to be a simple dresser. That can be your style. Choice can be perplexing. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
47. Intellect affects the level of confidence. Choose to know. Broaden your knowledge base. Diversify your knowledge. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
48. Your beliefs also affect your confidence level. Intelligent people believe they're intelligent. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
49. And silence can be golden and powerful. Know how to use it. #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
50. If you keep your mouth shut, nod your head a few times, purse your lips and utter "Hmn!" everyone believes you're wise! #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
51. If you keep your mouth shut nobody'll know how you got your suit. There should be something called fashion wisdom! #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
52. In summary, be yourself, believe in yourself, reconcile your past, study, be wise, know how to say "Hmn". #Letr2Jack
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
53. Oh, have a sense of humour. Your mentor says "Hmn!" LA. #Letr2Jack ©Leke Alder
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
54. NB: Forgot to add this: Alcohol is an overzealous self esteem booster. Gives too much esteem!
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
Cheers.
