Hi there,
It is time again for us to do our weekend ‘thingy’ – sharing Leke Alder’s Letters to Jack and Jil.
What do you do when your boyfriend/husband does something out of character and it’s so painful? What do you do when your Man is behaving funny, ignoring you and both of you are not talking to each other?
These are the issues Leke Alder is discussing today. It is time to learn. Read on….
1. My dear Jil, my dear Jil, I know you're upset but hear me out…ok? #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
2. So both of you are quarelling and you've not spoken to each other in days. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
3. You're not happy, he's not happy… As I write this there are tears behind your eyes… #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
4. You're angry and a tad lonesome. There's tension in your head. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
5. And your anger is no longer about the original issue. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
6. Your anger is now the fact that he's not spoken to you in days, that he's ignoring you. You're frustrated. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
7. I've listened to your narrative. I'm sure Jack has his own perspective too. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
8. The amazing thing is that both of you are right! Such is the strange equation of lovers' argle bargle. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
9. But Jack seems a level-headed young man to me. Given the circumstances I'll like to share a little piece of wisdom with you. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
10. You'll see the common mistake we all make. This simple mistake often turns costly, very costly in instances. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
11. Jack is not known for self-centeredness or insensitivity is he? #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
12. Indeed the reason you like him so much is because he's kind and considerate. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
13. You know this about him, his family knows that about him, his friends know that about him. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
14. Therefore this issue constitutes what is called an anomaly. It's out of character for him. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
15. As a consultant I deal in intelligence. I do data analysis. I read data and make sense of data. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
16. One of the things I watch out for in data is an anomaly. I train my eyes to spot anomalies. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
17. Imagine an Orwellian society where everyone wears black, everyone, everyday…black, no respite. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
18. Now imagine if one fateful friday someone, a lady, shows up at work in yellow! THAT is an anomaly. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
19. Confronted with such as a consultant, questions will flood my head: #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
20. Why did she wear yellow? Where did the yellow come from? How was it sourced? #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
21. What are her motives? Is she just being rebellious? Is she being difficult? Or had she run out of black? Is she colour blind? #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
22. Was she tired of black? How long had she had the yellow dress? Who sewed it for her? Might there be other colours? #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
23. Since the yellow is epochal, is this a radicalisation of the era? Or is it just a dirt of history, to be flicked off? #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
24. The point I'm trying to make is that when we are confronted with an anomaly we should go into a state of Selah. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
25. Selah, a favourite expression of David Jesse the poet and lyricist is Hebraic for "Pause and Think". #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
26. Ponder. Seek to understand. Enquire. In seeking to understand you display wisdom and character. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
27. If your good boyfriend does something out of character you must seek understanding. (Same goes for the man). #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
28. When confronted with a behavioral anomaly in a good relationship never rush to conclusion or condemnation. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
29. If for instance your boyfriend always celebrates your birthday, and in flying style at a posh restaurant… #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
30. But on this one occasion takes you to a bukateria (and not because his love is diminished) then you must selah! #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
31. You have an anomaly. You can't rush to emotional judgment. You must seek understanding. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
32. Could he be having financial difficulties? Is something going wrong with his business? Are things okay with him? #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
33. In seeking to understand you put aside yourself for the moment. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
34. He won't be worried all you're concerned about is yourself, what you want, your lusts. He'll know you care. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
35. And "for better for worse" begins to resonate stronger. If he has problems you'll end up ministering to him. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
36. A good man never forgets such. Such gestures go to the depths of a man's heart. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
37. It connects to a deep place and brings tears to the heart of men, subterranean cry. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
38. He'll begin to thank God for the kind of woman he has. You want your man thanking God for you, always. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
39. An anomaly is an anomaly. It may be a calm boyfriend who suddenly goes choleric. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
40. Something is wrong! He may be under tremendous strain. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
41. In seeking to understand an anomaly you demonstrate maturity, especially if you're gracious. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
42. You know what Solomon said about an understanding woman? #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
43. He said wealth and riches can come from a father but an understanding wife is from the Lord. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
44. An understanding woman is the gift of a benevolent and munificent God, an endowment of grace. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
45. An understanding woman is proof of God's love and kindness to a man. She's the evidence of mercy. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
46. An understanding woman covers the shame of her man. She's wise and discreet. She's loyal and kind. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
47. In your dealings with your fiance don't throw away his history of constancy, love and care. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
48. Don't live for the moment. And always contextualise his acts and omissions. Again, same goes for the man. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
49. Don't because of one anomalous happenstance throw away years of character and goodness and devotion. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
50. Those who do tend to have regrets. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
51. Now it's possible that Jack did indeed do wrong given the facts. But that only proves he's human. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
52. You make mistakes too, remember? You ain't perfect. None of us is perfect. We are being perfected. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
53. A perfect union is the tolerance, love and understanding of imperfect people choosing to come to terms with imperfections. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
54. Are you going to set the tone for the future of your marriage with an anomalous happenstance? #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
55. Come on, pick up the phone, call him. Show you're Heaven's gift to him. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
56. Your most loving mentor, LA. #Letr2Jil ©Leke Alder
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
16 days to the launch of the Jack&Jil Live website. Pre-register at http://t.co/xZgbGxwLDK
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) September 14, 2013
Hope you have learnt a thing or two. Do well to share this with your friends so that they can also drink from this Well of wisdom.
Cheers.
