Leke Alder – Letter to Jil: Addressing the RAPE Issue – My Boyfriend Raped Me.
Hello,
It is time for Leke Alder’s letter to Jil. The gist today is this – Jil has been raped by her boyfriend. That’s so sad, right? In this letter, Uncle Leke discuss this subject of civil rape, the possible causes and practical steps Jil or any victim of this evil can take to overcome the stigma and move on to greater things in life.
Read on… You will learn something.
1. Dear Jil, there are no two ways about it- your now ex-boyfriend is a rapist! He raped you! #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
2. The fact that he's your boyfriend doesn't make it any less rape. Forced sexual intercourse is rape. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
3. The movie fantasy of a woman capitulating to orgasmic sex after struggles against rape has misled many young men. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
4. Those movies have sold a lie that violent sex defines primal pleasure for women. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
5. The fantasy suggests that the act of "punishing" a woman with afflictive intercourse is strength of virility and manhood. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
6. I suspect this combination is what eventually played out in your rape. This apart from his lust crazed libido. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
7. It's why he kept telling you, you know you want it despite your struggles and protestations to the contrary. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
8. It's a porn fantasy that has become a cultural meme. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
8. It's a porn fantasy that has become a cultural meme. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
9. I pray God heal you of this trauma. I wish you had exercised better judgment about going to his room that night. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
10. That he at least stopped after breaking your hymen with his fingers can only be attributed to providence. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
11. Like the blood of Abel crying for vengeance from the ground, your blood seemed to have intimidated him to estoppel. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
12. The messiness of the bloody outflow bid him stop, crudely jerking him away from demonian derangement. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
13. Surely you don't rape a woman you want to marry! That should tell you this young man's hymeneal state of mind. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
14. You were naive. You hardly knew this guy! Your relationship was hardly months old! #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
15. You shouldn't have invited him for the weekend holiday with your friends. As it is the facts are stacked against you. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
16. Our society is so tolerant towards the abuse of women the syllogistic justification for rape is befuddling. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
17. Some will perversely deduce you wanted sex and that is why you went to his room that night. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
18. They presume lack of innocence when a woman visits a man in his hotel room at night. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
19. It's why rape is so hard to prove in general, not to talk of within our environmental and cultural context. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
20. You have generations of young men tutored in this philosophy of justification of rape: #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
21. That once a lone girl visits a lone guy in a lone room on a lone night she got her comeuppance! #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
22. Now you see why I say values and character matter. If a boyfriend lacks both he will traumatise your life. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
23. I think the battle against rape will not be won until we go after erroneous sexual fantasies in young men. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
24. These fantasies are the root cause, along with cultural norms and family tutorials by fathers battering mothers. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
25. Young men have been sold violent sexual fantasies- the ripping of bodice and panties… Team abuse of women, asphyxiation… #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
26. It's Gothic romance- a bodice ripper porn fantasy. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
27. "Civil rape" -rape by trusted individuals- is now an epidemic. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
28. If you discern that the only reason a guy is with you is for sex you should be wary. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
29. Don't expect fidelity from a guy who's only interested in sex. Any disappointment and he'll seek out an alternate. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
30. The sexual psychology of the male species is largely opportunity seeking. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
31. Without regulatory framework it is animalistic and predatory. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
32. But you can't let this guy hold up your life for life. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
33. You don't want a rapist to define the rest of your life. You must not allow! #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
34. Don't be afraid to date. You just have to be more discerning. Never presume character. Trust is earned. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
35. Be as wise as a serpent but be gentle like a dove. It's a smart combination. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
36. And don't formulate a philosophy about boys and men from this experience. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
37. "Men" didn't do this to you. A terrible character did. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
38. If you formulate such a philosophy you will become bitter, locked up in cynicism. And what you want will elude you. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
39. The pattern I've noticed is that Satan usually sends a beelzebub after innocent youth just to mess up their lives. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
40. They mask their character by paying forward with niceness, showering gifts and help. These gifts are baits. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
41. They hibernate, watching for an opportune moment. Once they deflower or impregnate the mask comes off. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
42. And you realise you're dating a child of the devil. He begins to manifest his father's traits. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
43. Oh, the stories I've heard! But at least some are apparent! Don't lust after bad boys. They'll bring you grief. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
44. A good boyfriend will not introduce you to drugs. He wants to WRECK your life! RUN!!! (…voluntarily pulling your ears!) #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
45. If you left your shoes or any item (including your virginity) behind while running don't bother to go back! #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
46. Remember Lot's wife! #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
47. Have you seen the film, Never Die Alone? Starring DMX? 2004 movie. Directed by Ernest Dickerson. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
48. It's an adaptation of a novel of the same name by Donald Goines. Read the synopsis on the web. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
49. That film sums up my beelzebub hypothesis. How many young lives have been so ruined, promises snuffed out. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
50. Date a gentleman- one who respects you, one who respects womanhood. #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
51. Become wise. Your mentor, LA. talk2me@lekealder.com #Letr2Jil
— Leke Alder (@LekeAlder) October 26, 2013
In your own case, What successful steps have you taken to ensure that you are/were not a victim of civil rape?
I would encourage you to share. I would love to read about them in the comments section below!
Cheers
